


tres d&d boys

by Paradelle



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, the boys play some dungeons and dragons, this is a wip that i just decided to post sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26204554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paradelle/pseuds/Paradelle
Summary: The boys play some dungeons and dragons with their dungeon master, Angus McDonald.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	tres d&d boys

Merle was completely and utterly lost. He studied the lengthy list of names and titles on the character sheet Angus had given him, the words becoming more complicated the further he looked. _Religion_ he could understand, but the other stuff? No dice. Across from Merle, Magnus Burnsides stroked his sideburns, concentrating on the small figurines with axes and bows, while Taako, his feet propped up and his arms crossed, was sitting on the far, far end of the table.

“So… this is what nerds like you are playing these days?” Taako examined the dice, turning them between his fingers. He’d already called dibs on the shimmery ones.

“Please, sirs, can you at least give it a chance? It would mean a lot to me, and I promise it can be really fun!” Fingers clasped together, Angus began to perspire, holding on to a sliver of hope that this game could go well.

The boys had to admit, his entire setup _was_ impressive. With figurines to represent players and monsters, as well as a detailed map spread across the entire length of the table, it was evident that his enthusiasm had manifested in every aspect of the game.

However, Angus was still a little dispirited. “I mean… I would understand if you had better things to do, of course.”

Magnus picked up a figurine that donned impressive facial hair, though not as impressive as his own. “So… how do you play?” he said encouragingly, feeling his excitement elevate with Angus.

Taako rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Merle, who was nodding along in agreement. “I guess I’ll also play your nerd game, not like I got anything better to do.”

Angus lit up, a smile so bright it blinded the trio. Reaching for the Dungeon Master’s guide, he began to delve into the rules and lore of Dungeons & Dragons, rambling faster than Merle could process. Taako had stopped paying attention since the introduction. Magnus had a little notepad that he scribbled in from time to time.

“Okay, uh, first off, you create your character. Which you all already have. So, let’s introduce them?” With that, Magnus lifted from his chair and proudly read off his sheet with a blaring voice.

“Her name is Karrie Battlefang, she’s a Dragonborn, and she’s super, super strong and cool!” He sat back down with triumph while Angus smiled, though it looked a little pained.

“Isn’t that just… Reclaimer Carey Fangbattle?”

“Psh.” Magnus waved dismissively. “No, definitely not. Plus, it’s spelled differently!”

“Well, what’s your class?”

Angus glanced over the table at Magnus’s already crumpled character sheet, then sighed dejectedly.

“I thought playing a rogue would be pretty baller!” Magnus announced, brandishing a little Dragonborn figurine doing sweet, sweet flips.

“Who’s next?” He looked at Merle and Taako, still smiling. Taako stared down Merle, as if challenging him with his eyes, who shrugged and clambered to stand tall atop of his chair.

“My name is Earl Drybirch.” he said, failing to give any more details beyond that. Magnus sniffed.

Angus was starting to look desperate but persisted nonetheless. “Okay, good start Merle! Can you tell me the race and class?”

Blank. Merle looked at his paper, a scowl forming on his face. Then he whipped out a pencil and scribbled something down. Angus’s grin stretched painfully.

“Earl is a cleric… dwarf.”

Facepalming, Angus gestured aimlessly to the end of the table.

“Taako?” He said pleadingly. “Who’s your character?”

Taako picked up his character sheet, already decorated with creases and folds, and he took a moment to read it over in his head. He didn’t stand like the other two, opting instead to stay lounged in the chair with his feet propped on the table.

“I’m Justin, the human wizard.”

“Um… anything else?”

“Nope.”

“Alright, that’s fine.” Angus sighed

He could make this work, Angus thought, just now realizing how hopeless this could turn out. He sucked in a deep breath, held it for many seconds, then exhaled slowly. He was going to become a dungeon master, and nothing could ruin this moment!

Angus jumped to his feet and slammed his hands on the table, leaning in close to the party. That sudden display of intensity got their attention.

“In the city of Eversummer, a dwarf named Bogard Stoneseeker asked you to bring a wagonload of provisions to the rough-and-tumble settlement of Haverdale, a couple of days’ travel southeast of the city. Bogard was clearly excited and more than a little secretive about his reasons for the trip, saying only that he and his brothers had found ‘something big’—”

“—Hold up, time out!” Taako exclaimed, gesturing the hand signal. “Haven’t we heard something like this before?”

Merle nodded. “This all sounds oddly familiar.”

“Wh-well, I don’t know what you all mean.” Angus stumbled over himself, finding himself shrinking in his seat. Was he doing something wrong?

Magnus narrowed his eyes, staring off at seemingly nothing until he perks up and grabs everyone’s attention. “Yes, yes! Guys, this was the first adventure, the one that started it all!”

“The one with my cousin?”

“Right, Merle!” Magnus answered enthusiastically with an intense emotion of excitement plastered on his face. “The one with Klarg, and Magic Brian—”

“—and Lup!” Taako finished.

Angus looked upon his friends like they were delirious. “Well, sirs, I’m certain this is completely different. Sure, it’s based on some real-world locations, but you all fight a dragon at the end, and I’m not even sure dragons exist!”

“That’s true,” Merle interjected, “We have never seen a dragon before.”

“Exactly!” Angus beamed. “It’s a complete fantasy setting.”

Taako, Merle, and Magnus all glanced over each other, shrugged, and reached for their dice.

“Alight, Mr. Little-DM-Guy, let’s hear what you have for us,” Taako said with a grin.

Angus smiled appreciatively and picked back up his bundle of neatly organized session notes.

“Thanks again, sirs, for giving me this chance. I’ll try my best.”

With all his looming figure, Magnus leaned over and patted the nervous Angus on the back. “I’m sure you won’t disappoint!” he said with more enthusiasm than needed.

“Well, we’ll see.” Merle shrugged. And the Tres Horny Boys played some Dungeons & Dragons.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, it was so short. That was just a wip I decided to finally post as-is. Hope you enjoyed!


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